It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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