i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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