Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
