He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
