they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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