needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
