Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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