paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I have post one night stand depression
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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