I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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