Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i think my mom watched the whole time
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
