You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
