haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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