I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
