i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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