Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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