Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
