Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
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