So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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