...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Randomize
