And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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