I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize