Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
