is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
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