Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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