wat bout pragnant strippers??
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Randomize
