hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Barsexuality is the new black.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
