it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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