The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
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