A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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