Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Randomize
