In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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