Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
