hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
17 year olds will be the death of me.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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