He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
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