I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
