i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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