I'm gonna have a badass scar
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Randomize
