I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Of course I have a pirate flag
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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