moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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