I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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