sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
She has the best kind of daddy issues
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
