she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
