dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
