i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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