When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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