You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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