ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Welp...herpes.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
