and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
My vagina just clenched in fear
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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