You made me cry and you don't even care
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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