i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
