I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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