There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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