i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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