A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
