i think my tv is drunk
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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