Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
