are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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