Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
