I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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