Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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