This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
