Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Randomize
