so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
