I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
